It's 3am, I must be lonely

Once in a while here at work, we have to test the software we write out on the actual system that it will eventually be running on, and that system is locked behind closed doors and you have to sign up for time to use it. Well, last week I signed up for a number of shifts out in the "lab" and waited with baited breath last Thursday morning to see what shifts I had been assigned. Turns out, I got no love.

Three midnight to 6am shifts on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings. Ugh.

Oh well, I guess I'll make the best of it. I'll kill myself trying to stay awake, but I'll get some good work done and enjoy some nice quiet time.

So on Monday, I work a full day till about 5:30, come home, eat, and take a nap for about 3 hours. My wonderful wife Cindy had been out running around while I was taking my nap, putting together an "overnight survival kit" to bring in with me. It wasn't until I hopped in my car at quarter to midnight that I saw the kit sitting on the passenger's seat. I couldn't wait to open it up and see what was inside.

First of all, there were about 10 to 12 DVD's in there that I could watch on the PC with the DVD player. This is key, because in the absence of any live person talking to you to keep you awake at oh, ass-o-clock in the morning, you need the movies to provide a little background noise. There were many good ones to choose from... I picked "The Ladies Man" (severely underrated), "Zoolander" (probably accurately rated), and "Van Wilder" (one of my personal favorites after "Old School").

Secondly, there was enough food in there for me to actually live in the lab for a week. I'm not kidding. All sorts of yummy snacks from Poppycock (that's right, I said it) to Bugles to Milano cookies, a couple of different chocolate bars, Pop Tarts, Ritz cracker sandwiches, chocolate-covered pretzels, Jolt caffeine-laden gum (2 kinds), Vivarin, Tums, Excederin, Immodium... all sorts of good stuff. I was ready for bear.

So I get to the lab, unlock it, drop my stuff down, and get to work. I put on "The Ladies Man". Let me tell you, testing your software is fantastic when you've got Tim Meadows saying stuff in the background like "It sounds like you have a case of homo-unerectus, which means that your wang is huge-i-fied not by a woman, but by a man". Can't help but crack up when that comes on.

I'm snacking on Bugles, making good progress when the first movie ends. Now I'm so spoiled that when I leave the immediate area of the PC, I pause it because I don't want to miss any good lines. I put Zoolander on. That "walk-off" between Zoolander and Hansel is hilarious. "Stay out of this Billy Zane!" Priceless.

At this point, after the snacks I've powered down, and the 3 Coca-Colas I've chugged to stay awake, I really have to use the men's room. Problem is, lab procedure dictates that I have to put everything away and lock it back up when nobody is present. Which of course is a huge pain because I'm coming back in like 5 minutes to set things back up the way they were when I left. Oh well, at 3am I don't have the luxury of having anybody hold it open for me while I duck out.

Now, because they have continuous air flow in order to keep the system cool, the lab makes a lot of wierd noises. And in the middle of the night when you hear something creaking or crackling or whatever, your neck whips around to see what it is. Usually it was nothing. One time I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and jumped a little, but it turned out to be nothing. I thought I was hallucinating. Oh, and I also had the lights off in the place. It was basically being lit by several monitors that were spread throughout the room. No need to fool myself into thinking it was daylight out by putting lights on. Wouldn't want to do that. Plus the movies looked better in the dark, so I figured I'd run with it.

For the record, I was surprisingly sharp for an overnight shift. I made all sorts of progress and all of my tests were passing. It was turning out to be a banner night. At 4am, "Van Wilder" goes on. It's made by the same people who did "Animal House" and it sure has that same look and feel. It even has the guy who played Otter from "Animal House" as the father of the guy who's the lead character in this one. From start to finish, it's an outstanding movie. Between that and the Jolt bubble-gum, I'm able to make it to 6am, when the next crew arrives to take over.

So I guess I made it through the night. By 8am, the lack of sleep hit me like a ton of bricks. I was out of it. However, I still ended up sticking around till about noon to get some other stuff done. Groggily, I drove home, stopping once to vote in the local primary. That's always fun... good thing I had enough faculties to remember what I was there for. It's an an old-age home too.. I might have very well asked for a room to crash in.

Thankfully, I finished everything on Tuesday morning and didn't have to play out the rest of the midnight to 6 shifts. But man, between the movies and the hallucinations that was that one rockin' time!